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Realism Means Neither Horrible Nor Fabulous


Reality is often not a wonderful existence. It not a horrible existence either. It simply means the way things are. Unfortunately, people don’t seem to understand this and often it takes an entire lifetime to learn the difference in particular of reality vs. negativity. Some people never do learn this difference. I have learned this recently in my own quest to find employment.

I want to be an independent person who can obtain a job without any help from anyone else. This comes from a history of me getting jobs through family members and sometimes wondering if I would have gotten the job at all without that help. The reality is that this does not happen in today’s society no matter who you are. This would be true even if I had not been born with cerebral palsy. Why can’t I learn this? Is 35 years old still that young? It would appear the answer to this is yes, even if I had children and been for years in a responsible position of being a parent.

In a related example, take the idea of people being created equal in the minds of non-prejudiced people. I refuse to allow a bigot in my home. Everyone has their own opinions and some politics in my city are such that if I avoided everyone who disagreed with me I would never see anyone. I simply avoid discussing topics that may be controversial. But when it comes to a boyfriend, yes it is important that I share the same opinions. So when I discovered the man I was dating was homophobic, I had to end the relationship while I continue to have friends who believe that gay marriages are not real marriages. In my private life, equality of all is vital.


When it comes to equality in the work force, people often equate reality with positivity. Because people deserve equal rights in life it therefore follows that this is true in all aspects of life including employment, yes? No. And if you believe that there is equality you may end up coming away with the idea you didn’t get a job because the other person was more qualified. The reality may be that you are a short person. Huh? Let me explain.

The idea of all men being created equal in the workforce is simply not true. If it were, then companies who employ people of all races, religions, abilities and ages would not need to identify themselves as equal opportunity employers. Everyone would hire everyone on qualifications alone. But they do need to identify themselves.

Let us totally ignore I have a disability for the moment and talk about the fact that I am a woman. In fact, let’s pretend that I have no disability at all.

For people who think all people are created equal in the workforce answer me this question:

Why are men and women not paid identical wages for the same type of work? I do not mean the fact that men are bigger and stronger and therefore can work certain occupations that women are not able to do. I am talking about the same wages for the same work. Historically speaking, men have always been paid higher wages than women. The difference gets smaller all the time, and there are actually more women who are employed today than men in some fields that are traditionally thought of as male. But they still get paid less than they would if they were men.


Other examples of this in the workforce when the qualifications are identical:

The company hires the taller person.

The company hires the younger person.

That doesn’t sound like all people are created equal to me.


If you want to feel good about yourself and be realistic about getting a job when you are unemployed, you must understand the difference between both reality and wishful thinking as well as reality and negativity.


Remember: Mary Tyler Moore lost out the chance to play the daughter of Danny Thomas because her nose doesn’t look like she could be related to Danny Thomas. It had nothing to do with her ability as an actress.Image

These leaves have frost on them in the winter. It is a necessary season.

Source: Public domain